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BREAKING: Boat That Killed Hillary And Chelsea Clinton Sabotaged

Captain John Harkness was in command of the 32-foot yacht Hillary and Chelsea Clinton were enjoying themselves on when it suddenly jumped to full throttle and veered directly into a small marina. The accident, just offshore from Port Weatherly, North Dakota, was the first fatal crash on the state’s coast in over a decade.

At first, investigators were considering the possibility that the captain fell asleep at the wheelwhen they found an electronic device attached to the boat’s avionics and sonar array. The device had the ability to “remotely control the operation of the craft from any mobile device.”

It didn’t matter that the craft was at such a tiny Lake Huron port or that the closest major city is Piedmont. The device was military grade sophisticated and worth more than $200K on the black market. Special Agent Lucas Enlaura of the FBI told LLOD’s Skip Tetheluda:

“This was as professional a hit as you can possibly get. Now comes the fun part. Going down the list of people who would want to cause Hillary Harm. I know where we can get a list of about 62 million of them.”

She’s right. Hillary Clinton is the most unpopular person to have ever run for office. She was bullied onto the Senate in a district where your neighbor’s dog has a better chance of being counted than you do if you’re a conservative.

The investigation will start with the obvious, Bill Clinton, and then should focus on Benghazi so we can finally get some answers.

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