Bill Clinton Won’t Face Charges For 14 Bodies Buried On His Property

14 human beings, hacked up and in different stages of preservation or decay, came out of the ground in steel barrels from Bill Clinton’s back yard. Two of them went to high school with Clinton, 1500 miles away, and even shared a yearbook photo.

Yet somehow, some way, Bill Clinton is not the killer. Once again, William Mason, the man who owned the Chappaqua residence, was linked directly to each and every victim, bringing his total body count to 24. Investigators, after seeing how far Mason was willing to go to spread his victims out, are doing an overhead search with ground penetrating radar covering a 2-mile radius from his underground kill room.

During the excavation process, the Clintons were seen sitting on the porch sipping iced tea or coffee at various times through the day, laughing and waving to investigators and reporters. When the dig was over, Hillary approached an agent with a sealed envelope:


“She said to give it to my boss. It was an estimate from her landscaper for $340K to fix her yard.”

As the lead investigator was leaving the smiling and waving continued and ultimately ended with both Clintons flipping the FBI the bird as they pulled away.

Clinton spokesman Christopher Blair spoke on their behalf:

“We told you idiots days ago that these were more of Masons kills. You’re just too dead set on convicting the Clintons of murders they haven’t committed to see that you look like complete morons.

The Clintons’ official statement to those who refuse to stop pestering them about their alleged criminal syndicate is simple: Get a life.”

You just know those 2 girls from his high school were no coincidence. Mason and Slick Willie were neighbors for a while. Maybe they…bonded.

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